Tucson Here we Come

I'm so excited to be going to see my sister, but I'm so not excited about leaving Justin. I HATE leaving him. It's bitter sweet.

He is kinda jealous though because we get to go to....

Tombstone...


If you haven't heard of it just go and ask the men in your lives about it and I'm sure they'll say something about the movie...



It's actually a good movie... maybe I'll watch it on the way.

I just can't wait to be in 80 degree weather!

Funny Image

So I saw this

image today at cakespy and I thought that it was really funny! Hope you enjoy and have a little laugh today!

Turkey Madness!

So this morning I have this turkey breast that has to be cooked today and for Christmas I got a roaster. I was so excited to try out my new roaster and I unwrapped it from the box very carefully (treating it like a baby) I read all of the instructions, cleaned it well and plugged it in... Well it started smoking! I thought that maybe I didn't rinse off all of the soap from cleaning it, but then I noticed a dent in my brand new roaster! Sure enough the smoke was coming from that dent, so with my heart broken I couldn't use that roaster, I have to take it back and I'm just relieved that I got it from Walmart and not Target because I know that Walmart will take it back!

So now I was thinking how am I going to cook this turkey? It has to start cooking now and I don't have a roaster and I don't have a roasting pan for my oven. So I got online and found Crockpot turkey!? So with high hopes I started to unwrap my turkey and I'm looking at this bird and I’m so mad! The store sold me a rotten turkey then I'm thinking... wait I know that smell. The Turkey gravy packet is broken, so no gravy tonight... then I get even more mad!

So tonight I'm having crockpot turkey with no gravy and yeah maybe a waste of 20 bucks!

Ugh the things we go through just to cook dinner!

Todays Tidbits + My Mood Swings

Wow what a mood swing I had yesterday huh?

I usually don't get mood swings like that, but my 2 infertility buddies got their babies last year so I really don't have anyone to vent to... and yesterday I vented to my readers. Sorry.


It did feel good though. LOL


My mood swings about our trials are hit and miss. I'm usually okay with what has happened to us because you can't believe the blessings we have gotten from it. I stand all amazed at the Love Jesus offers me is an appropriate song for our family. We are so blessed. We have Beckham and there are thousands of couples who would die for that.

It's just those days when I think "Do you really have to teach me with my children?" But He does, if I had never lost a baby I wouldn't be the person I am today. I wouldn't be the mom I am today. I'm grateful, grateful for my trials and blessings, grateful to be a mom.


So yeah, sorry about yesterday... I'll vent to my journal from now on~ ;)

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Today has been exciting... As some of you know my sister has moved to Tucson AZ and I get to go see her in a couple of weeks! I'm so excited for the 75 degree weather. I'm also so excited to see my nephew and niece. Sorry Michelle, I'm excited to see you too, but they are just so darn cute.

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I'm kinda bummed out that Valentines is over... I just love pink, hearts, and most importantly remember those whom we love. Justin was a sweet husband and got me a ipod dock for valentines day. I got him a dorky phone cover.

Beckham got a new big boy bike and here is a page that I did with it.

Nora's Bear

So I got quite a few private emails asking me about Nora’s Blanket. So here are my mixed emotions of today and the story of her bear.


When I knew that she wasn’t going to survive past birth I was trying to find ways that our family wouldn’t forget her. I mean I carried her for 5 1/2 months and she is important to me. She is important to Beckham too! He was so excited to be a big brother and it still breaks my heart when he asks why she isn’t here and why can’t he play with her. Someday’s I have perfect happy answers and other days I break down and cry with him.

It hurts when my mom and mother-in-law buy stuff for their grand-babies and there isn’t anything for Nora. Every time I think... there should be one more. I know how awkward it must be for them and how they don’t know what to do. I don’t expect them to get anything either, it just hurts.

After my lesson yesterday I kept thinking about the pre-mortal life. I wonder if we knew what trials we would go through... I wonder what I thought about this trial. If I thought that I could do it then, then I can do it now. Have you ever wondered about that? I have. Some days that’s the only thing that gets me through it.

Lately I’ve been INCREDIBLY jealous of other families that get babies. They get the miracle I want with all my heart! They get children that live! I don't understand God's ways and why other families get children that live and mine don't. (Minus Beckham) I try to have faith and I do believe that God's will is best. But my WHOLE SOUL aches that all of my babies beyond Beckham have to be the ones that die. Of course I don't want any babies to die, but especially mine! I have so many friends who have had babies this past year, or are having babies this year... (I think that there are 10 women pregnant in my ward) and I am happy for them, but then again I always think why can’t that be me?

All I know about pregnancy lately is death, and though I have great hope, there is no guarantee for me, there is no guarantee that I will even get pregnant again. I HOPE and PRAY that I will and that we will get our happy ending, but do I have enough faith? Do other people that have infertility problems get babies because they have enough faith and do all of mine die because I don't have enough faith? I do believe God is a God of miracles, it is obvious in so many things around me, but I do struggle heavily with the belief He will perform a miracle for ME personally. I feel very weak and very fragile. As immense as the pregnancy joys of my friends, my sorrow is just as immense as I struggle with my own insecurities and my own losses.

Nora’s bear is something so special to me. It’s my way of remembering her. It’s my way to think she isn’t forgotten. It’s my way to know that I have a baby “girl” waiting for me. I wonder what the other genders of our kids are?

Here is Nora wrapped in her blanket with daddy!

and here is the Bear we turned it into.

Look at the cute little name patch on the back!


I know that many of you are thinking “You cut her blanket up? Are you crazy?” But this is seriously the best thing! I would never go back in time and change it! I rather have her displayed in my house then have her stuffed in a box that is shoved away.


Here is a song that I LOVE and that I have been listening to a lot lately. I thought that you might all enjoy it, make sure you read the words.

Love one Another

Valentines Day or Nerves Day?

For the first time Beckham has to give a talk in Primary and I'm more nervus than he is! Because he's only 3 he can't really prepare his talk, so Mommy was given the challenge. I've been teaching in Relief Society for the past year so my brain has been on adult content only, not sunbeams. Plus his topic was really broad, which made it all the more difficult... I'll let you know how it goes. (Keep your fingers crossed!)

And the day doesn't end there, I get the privilege of teaching today too! My topic is on Jesus and the war in heaven. Hopefully it goes well.
(double cross your fingers!)

So happy Heart Day, I love all my friends and family... but most of all I love my Savior and Redeemer who died for me.

This is the newest Mormon Message Movie and I thought that it fit today well.


If that wasn't enough love for you, here is Beckham and Nora!


For those that are going to ask. We made the blanket that Nora was wrapped in into a bear so we could have her in our family photos, and so I can hug her when I'm having a hard day.

So Love one Another and enjoy a day filled with love!

I so forgot!

So I've been thinking.. I missed something from my birthday. I've been walking around all day doing dishes, laundry and I've been going insane! I've been thinking okay Jamie your birthday was on the 4th not even a week ago and you can't remember... Then I decided to get a drink and I started laughing so hard how can you miss this?



Yeah... I'm getting old! But this might just be the coolest faucet ever! I'm in love~ That's another indicator that your getting old too.... when you fall in love with appliances and kitchen gadgets!

Happy Birthday to me

So my birthday was crazy! My family went overboard, but who doesn't like that?

here is a picture of SOME of the things I got...


Yes that is a ton I know... anywho I wanted to thank my family for an awesome day! Love you!


Oh yeah my brother just got me an Itunes gift card to go with my ipod... Thanks Mike, that was a nice surprise in the mail today!