Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Crue Justin Hamblin

The birth story of our son Crue Justin Hamblin.

I still can’t believe that our son is finally here... I have no idea what my rush was because I’m so tired with my lack of sleep lol. Thankfully I’ve found enough energy to write his birth story.
Monday the 15th of November I had a doctor appointment that I was not looking forward to. I for sure thought that our doctor would say that I’d have to have a c-section but thankfully I dilated enough to have my water broke.
I was so excited you have no idea... I went straight home and started nesting like crazy! I vacuumed, dusted, moped, did laundry and packed the hospital bags. I don’t know if it was the cleaning or the fact that my brain knew that he was coming tomorrow no matter what but I started having contractions. All through the night I was having contractions and by 5 am I told Justin to get up because I think that we needed to head to the hospital. He talked me into staying and eating breakfast so while he got over at Justin’s horrified eyes thinking that I was going to die of pain lol. Because there were 4 the last hour of sleep I walked the house in pain... it wasn’t shortly after that I lost my plug... and let’s just say how disgusting! We were scheduled for 7 am. I know that’s so early for us but we were able to make it to the hospital and on time.
We got there and butterflies were starting to turn in my stomach. I knew that this was it. For some reason I kept telling myself that something would happen and that we’d have another stillborn. I know, my brain does that sometimes. We were quickly moved into our birthing room and hooked up and ready to go. The doctor came in at around 9 and broke my water.... and when she checked me I was already a 3+ as apposed to yesterdays 1and a half. As soon as she broke my water she said to get the epidural and I thought that man, these aren’t too bad, I can handle this. So I opted not to have the epidural right away. I always thought that you didn’t progress fast when you got the epidural. But that was an old wives tale because I went pretty fast. By 12 I was ready for that epidural. I still remember looking of us being induced I had to wait my turn for the epidural. Now I know why my doctor said to get it now and not to wait. Finally the anesthesiologist came in around one and I was so happy to see her. With the epidural in I was feeling better but I still could feel the contractions. Time felt like it went by so much faster... next thing you know it was 2:45 and I was ready to start pushing. I was pushing with the nurse for 15 minutes and by the time the doctor came in I was almost done... I was so wrong about pushing, I thought that you only pushed like 5 time and the baby came out.... I didn’t realize that it was like 5 rounds of pushing 4 times for 15 seconds each.
At 3:13 our beautiful son was half way out but the cord was wrapped around his neck so I had to stop pushing. Finally everything was great again and I gave the final push. He was born at 3:15 and was completely perfect. I was worried when He didn’t start crying.... because a baby's cry is the most beautiful thing in the world at that moment. When the doctor was cleaning his air ways he just looked around really content.
She then placed him on my stomach and I was able to hold him and marvel at him until he started peeing on the doctor, then I was laughing.

Finally he was all cleaned up and I was able to really cuddle him.

I swear I was holding Beckham too. It was surreal to look at him those first few moments. He looked exactly like Beckham. Justin and I took a few minutes to thank our heavenly father before we had Beckham come in. Also we were thinking of a name still. We finally decided on Crue. We chose Crue because we wanted to name one of our kids after Clair, Justin’s dad. His middle name is Rue and so we took his first letter and middle name and combined them. Which gave us Crue.
When Beck did come in it was the most sweetest thing ever. He came in with this big smile just waving at the baby. He couldn’t wait to give him hugs and kisses, just look at him here...

All in all it was great and life couldn’t be better, well maybe more sleep could be better but it’s so worth it. Every yawn and every ache in my body doesn’t matter because we have Crue.

It’s amazing how he’s healed my heart in ways I didn’t think possible.

Crue Justin Hamblin
Tuesday, November 16th
8 lbs 3oz
22 inches long

Monday, November 15, 2010

Always me... or NOT!!! UPDATED!

Do you ever feel like everything always happens to you and don't know why?

Well this pregnancy has made me think that.... let me re-phrase that. Because all I wanted was a VBAC and it's looking like I’m not getting my one wish I feel like it's always me! I've been patient. I've been prayerful. I've been calm. I just feel like I can't take another trial right now... I thought "Hey maybe I'll get a break for a bit"

Why in the world do I think I should get a break? If I got a break that means that Heavenly Father didn't care about me and so I know that He does care and He's constantly pushing me for the good. I just wanted this one thing to go my way and I'm being a baby about it.

I need to start not comparing myself to others... I do that way too much and this is what always happens. I get down and depressed. Church didn't help yesterday either...

No joke everyone I saw said "you're still pregnant?!" The first few people who said it to me was fine but after everyone it got really old and I just wanted to say "It's not that hard to look at my belly and see that" I know that people don't want to make you depressed it's just when you are so emotional as it is and you go to church to try and focus on the Lord rather than a silly delivery and instead you get reminded of the thing you would like to keep on the back burner for a few hours it's hard. I couldn't even face relief society... I almost walked in, I peeked my head in and saw that there were no seats and said "Ha! it's a sign to just wait in the hall" Good thing I had a few friends to keep my mind busy.

I cried so long yesterday after church poor Justin thought "What happened to my wife... After church you should come home feeling good" I did feel grateful that I went... the primary program touched my heart and I'm glad that I got to see Beckham up on stage for awhile. I'm also glad that I went because that was officially my last Sunday for a few weeks. Taking the sacrament was a good reminder for me. The real reason we go to church. It was just after sacrament meeting that I didn't enjoy too much lol.

I so am not looking forward to the doctor today. I know what she is going to tell me, "Sorry Jamie, you're still a 1... it's time for the c-section" I was teasing yesterday and said “Hey, I could pull out the tears and see if that would help” but I think she'll get them either way and she's that type of doctor that I think it wouldn’t phase her one bit

Ugh I'm sad today too because of Harry Potter.... Yes, harry potter, wipe the confused looks off your face because you read that right. I've ALWAYS gone to the mid-night showing of Harry Potter... my sister and I are kinda obsessed and this year I just had to tell my mom to sell my tickets. We have the best seats ever too! I keep saying if I have the baby today I could make it... but I’d be just getting out of the hospital and that wouldn't be fun at all... so I’m having to sell them. Knowing Justin he'll take me to it another time and it will be more special because it will be with him. :) Again it's just my mind thinking that... ugh it always happens to me.

Darn mind. Stop making me sad!
Well most likely this will be my last post until I have news to share... Hopefully news that I got to have my VBAC and that he's healthy and has a name LOL. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed that I'll still get my VBAC. I still have faith believe it or not.

I am going to miss being pregnant though... and this is one of the reasons....

I've had this for 9 months too... wait 10 months LOL

Well now I’m so embarrassed....

I went to the doctor an emotional wreck today and boy what an experience. I said a quick prayer before the doctor came in to let me accept Heavenly Father's will and that I will be happy that I'm even getting a baby! It came out good news.... I've progressed and so I get to be started tomorrow morning at 7! I'm still in shock and I am just so excited. (Not about the 7 though... ouch that’s early for the Hamblin’s)

Yesterday in our Sunday school class... the Bishop gave good council. Do what you should now before you get tempted by Satan. I've been on my knees asking for forgiveness that Heavenly Father will forgive me. I shouldn't have doubted Him... I need to remember to put Him first no matter what... to always trust Him because He always does what's best for us. I could have saved a lot of tears, stress, and grief if I would have done that first.

So everyone.... learn from my mistake! Be an optimist and trust the LORD!

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

Alma 37:33 Preach unto them repentance, and faith on the Lord Jesus Christ; teach them to humble themselves and to be meek and lowly in heart; teach them to withstand every temptation of the devil, with their faith on the Lord Jesus Christ.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Not a worry in the world!

So still no baby....

After my appointment yesterday I feel more calm and relieved. Our doctor was nice enough to let us go another week of hoping and praying that I go into labor on my own.

A lot of people have asked a lot of questions so I'll answer the top 5.

1. Why can't they start you? It's too dangerous to start me apparently.. I've already begged her, but I'd rather be safe then sorry.

2. Why were you able to be started with Nora then? She had already passed so the danger was really low.

3. When is the day if you have a c-section? Sometime late next week. Not sure yet...

4. Do you have a name? Nope... we can't decide/agree

5. Where are you delivering? Davis if it's a regular delivery and Ogden Regional if it's a c-section.

I actually woke up this morning with the worst cold ever so not having the baby quite yet is fine by me. I can barely keep my head up let alone the duties of a new baby. This week I've been really calm and okay with whatever happens (I know Justin's blessing has helped in my feelings towards that too) and I only feel peace.

I've been thinking a lot about Nora, a year ago today I was in the hospital right now preparing for one of the most emotional experiences of my life. I've been so worried all along with this pregnancy that I would go into labor either today or tomorrow and that was my worst fear... would I be able to handle it? Would I freak out over every little thing? Will I wish that I was holding Nora instead of this little baby? But after the blessing I received yesterday I know that I am strong enough to do this. I know that Heavenly Father will be there to look out after me. Just hopefully it's not the 24 hour labor that I had! Yikes wouldn't that be awful? I can't believe that it's been a year! It went by so fast... maybe it just feels that way because I miss and think about her everyday. We have pink balloons and pink mini cupcakes to send up to heaven tomorrow for her birthday and Beckham is so excited. He can't wait to go to the grave and "see my baby Nora" as he puts it. Let's just hope the balloons can carry the cupcake. ;)

Anyway so today I haven't a worry in the world. I have the faith that the Lord will be there for us and that He's going to be looking out after us. I just wish I would have thought about this last week... I think that I took 10 years off my life with me worrying.